The Waiting Game
by waterlit
Summary: "This is the last time I'm asking you this," Rin says. "I don't want to wait any longer." [SessRin]


Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

Summary: "This is the last time I'm asking you this," Rin says. "I don't want to wait any longer."

Pairing: SesshomaruRin

* * *

**[The Waiting Game]**

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_This is the last time I'm asking you this  
Put my name at the top of your list  
This is the last time I'm asking you why  
You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye._

Taylor Swift & Gary Lightbody, The Last Time

:::

"Are you done packing?" Sesshomaru asks, looking over the table at her.

Rin smiles and nods, the voices around her in the crowded restaurant fading into an indistinct buzz as Sesshomaru speaks. "I'm done with packing."

He is twenty-seven, an eligible bachelor and she is nineteen, a not so eligible bachelorette about to leave for college abroad.

"What time's your flight tomorrow?" Sesshomaru asks.

"Are you going to see me off?"

"Maybe," Sesshomaru says. "If an urgent meeting doesn't pop up."

"What are the odds?" Rin asks, smiling.

"Not high," he says, and nods at the waiter who places his steak before him.

"Thank you," Rin says, as the waiter serves her baked rice. "No, Mr General Manager, I think the odds are quite high."

Sesshomaru raises an eyebrow. "Does it really matter?"

"No. Yes. Maybe?"

"Which is it?"

"I don't know," Rin says.

"How can you not know?" Sesshomaru asks. "It's a simple question."

"Are you calling me stupid?"

"No," Sesshomaru says. He frowns at his steak. "You know I wouldn't."

"I was just teasing you," Rin says. "Don't take it seriously."

"I'm not taking it seriously," Sesshomaru says. "I should have asked for a private room; it's too noisy here."

"We plebians just deal with it," Rin says, and they fall into silence.

Halfway through the meal, Rin looks up at Sesshomaru. A question that has been hanging on her lips for years now breaks through her walls of restraint.

"What are we, Sesshomaru?" she asks, and forces herself to keep eye contact with him.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. All of these – what do they mean to you?"

"I – I don't wish to speak about it now. Here."

Rin shakes her head. "I _need_ to know, Sesshomaru. I can't keep going on like this, waiting and waiting and still waiting. I can't wait forever."

"Why not?"

"If nothing's going to happen, I need to move on. Have my own life. I'm going abroad; this will be a good a chance as any to start anew."

"You know how I feel about you," Sesshomaru says. His eyes burn with a furious intensity.

"I know," Rin agrees. "But you don't want to date me. I've heard rumours about you and that socialite, what's-her-name – Kanna – no, Kagura."

"I need to marry a girl with connections," Sesshomaru says. His hands find hers, and he presses them as if begging for her patience, for her forgiveness, for her approval.

"Then let me go," she says, and pulls her hands away. "Let's put a stop to this farce."

"It's not a farce, Rin. I – "

"You're so selfish, Sesshomaru," she says, cutting across his words. She looks away and he feels his heart shattering. "I've waited eight years. Do you want me to wait till I'm a wrinkled prune?"

Sesshomaru opens his mouth, but his tongue is tied. He doesn't know what to say, because every word she says is true.

Rin stands up and pushes back her chair. "You don't need to send me off."

She walks off, and Sesshomaru stares at her disappearing form, watching as she walks away from him.

The next day, Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango and Miroku wave her off into the departure hall with hugs and well-wishes galore. She lingers at the gate watching and waiting for a tall man with a head of cotton-white hair to appear. She waits until the last moment, before she gives up and heads inside. She wishes he loves her enough to forget his social status.

:::

She is ten and playing jump rope in front of Kagome's house when she first sees him. He is eighteen, tall, and barely spares her a glance before turning aside and walking into his house.

"Who is he?" Rin asks.

Kagome, fifteen and Rin's babysitter for the day, looks over as the door closes. She pushes her cage swing higher and turns back to her textbook. "That's Sesshomaru," she says. "Inuyasha's older brother."

Rin notices the pinkness that creeps over Kagome's pale skin as she mentions her neighbour, Inuyasha. It's one of the things that Rin has taken for granted – Kagome likes Inuyasha, and Inuyasha likes Kagome, except they aren't holding hands – yet. Inuyasha comes over, sometimes, when Kagome is taking care of Rin, and Rin likes Inuyasha because he brings sweets for her and doesn't stop her from building mud castles in Kagome's front yard. _Soil is good for you_, he tells Kagome when Kagome scolds her for getting dirty.

Rin sees Sesshomaru almost every day, watching his regal presence and his high cheekbones. She sometimes looks at herself in the mirror and pushes at her face, wondering why her jawline is not quite so defined, why her cheeks appear as round as a squirrels, so unlike Sesshomaru's chiselled features.

She does this for three years.

:::

He is twenty-one and home for the summer vacation, and she is thirteen, no longer a child but a newly minted teenager.

Still, she doesn't kick up a fuss when her parents drop her off at Kagome's house, because it means she will get to see Sesshomaru, even if he doesn't acknowledge her existence (doesn't know about her presence).

This summer, though, things are different. For one, Inuyasha has finally developed enough courage to ask Kagome out, and they have gone official. Rin is happy for them, because they deserve each other, though now she wonders if she will ever look like Kagome does, whether she will ever fill out enough to wear tank tops and strapless dresses, or if she will be doomed for eternity to tee-shirts and shorts.

One day, as Kagome and Inuyasha talk on the swing, and Rin sits at Kagome's front door reading a book, Sesshomaru passes by. Dressed in a boat-necked shirt and dark skinny jeans, he walks up his driveway, his long hair and an earring glinting in the summer heat.

Inuyasha stirs as he sees his half-brother. "Sesshomaru," he calls, and waves him over.

Rin looks up and drops her book. A deliciously warm feeling creeps up her throat; with butterflies in her stomach and hope tingling in her veins, she can hardly think straight. He is so handsome up close, so tall, so toned, so different from the _boys_ at school.

"This is my girlfriend, Kagome," Inuyasha says, slinging an arm over Kagome's shoulder.

Sesshomaru raises an eyebrow. "I know that."

"And that's Rin," Inuyasha says, waving a hand in Rin's direction. "Kagome and her family look after Rin while her parents are at work."

"Noted," Sesshomaru says, turning away.

"You'll be seeing a lot of them from now on," Inuyasha calls after his half-brother.

"What a pleasure," Sesshomaru says, continuing to walk away.

"He's such a jerk," Inuyasha says to Kagome.

"Just give him time," Kagome tells Inuyasha, leaning her head against his shoulder. "You need to put in effort to make him like you."

"I do," Inuyasha says. "What do you think, Rin? Isn't my brother horrible?"

"I... I don't know," Rin says, picking her book up from the ground. All she can think of now is the Sesshomaru's scathing look and his disinterest in them, in her.

:::

She is fifteen and walking home from school, and he is twenty-three, driving along a deserted lane at twilight.

Something darts in front of his car – a deer, perhaps? – and he bring his car to a stop. Frowning, he exits his car to check on the animal. He is surprised to find a girl lying on the road, instead of an animal.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

The girl looks up; she looks familiar.

"I'm fine, thank you," she says.

_Rin_, he remembers. _Her name is Rin. Inuyasha's girl was looking after her. _

"Rin," he says, and almost smiles at her wide-eyed response. "That's your name, right?"

"Yes," she whispers, heart racing and mind whirling.

"Try to stand," he says. "I'll drive you back to Kagome's."

"Thank you," Rin says, pushing herself off the ground. She feels an ache in her leg, and pivots on the spot, almost falling from the pain. Thankfully, a pair of strong arms grabs her and rights her.

"You're not fine, are you?" Sesshomaru asks.

"My leg – I think my ankle –"

Sesshomaru lets her lean on him. "Can you walk now? I'll take you to the doctor."

So he takes her to the doctor and drives her home after.

:::

He is twenty-four, sharp in a business suit and she is sixteen, starting to use makeup (nothing too heavy, just concealer, mascara and a tiny swipe of lipgloss).

They are in a garden; Rin is feeding ducks while Sesshomaru looks on, carefully hidden behind his business magazine.

Sesshomaru is fascinated by Rin; she is alive, so fresh-faced, so different from his many previous girlfriends. She is not glamourous, no, but she is happy and full of energy. He wonders if he is falling for her – what a joke! He is not a paedophile.

"Do you want to feed them?" Rin asks as she strokes a duckling. "They're really cute!"

"No," he says, but he smiles at her, and she takes that as a sign that he in fact does want to feed the ducks.

He is becoming a contradiction, he thinks, all because of a girl who is almost his neighbour.

:::

She is eighteen and hopeful and he is twenty-six and jaded.

It's Sunday, and they are brunching at a nearby restaurant.

"It's a new day, Sesshomaru," Rin says. "Why so glum? Don't you feel the possibilities?"

"What possibilities?" Sesshomaru asks, sipping at his coffee.

Rin smiles – oh, these smiles, Sesshomaru does things he would never otherwise do just to see them. "Perhaps today there'll be a glorious sunset! Or you might listen to a catchy new song on the radio."

Sesshomaru shakes his head though he smiles faintly. "These things don't excite me."

"I'm sure they will, if you'll let them! Look, the eggs are so yummy today!" she says.

Sesshomaru reaches over and brushes a piece of egg off her chin with his long fingers. "You're such a messy eater," he says.

"That's what napkins are for," Rin says, laughing.

Sesshomaru revels in that laugh – that sweet, tinkling sound, that sound that sends thrills through his body, that sound that makes him want to protect Rin from shadows and dark things.

:::

He is thirty-one, still an eligible bachelor, and she is twenty-three, fresh out of college.

"Did you hear, Sesshomaru?" Kagome asks.

Sesshomaru turns to his sister-in-law. "Hear about what?"

"Rin is back," Kagome says, smiling brightly. "And she brought Kohaku back with her!"

"Who's Kohaku?" Sesshomaru asks. He half-suspects the status of this unknown Kohaku, and his heart clenches for some reason.

"Her boyfriend and Sango's brother," Inuyasha says. "I thought you knew. You two are so close. Were so close?"

"Not anymore," Sesshomaru says stiffly. He glares at his brother.

"Anyway," Kagome says, trying to break the tension in the room, "we can all go visit her soon! She and Kohaku are moving into my old room."

"They're cohabiting?" Sesshomaru asks. Jealousy slinks through his veins, griping his heart tightly. Suddenly, he finds it difficult to breathe.

"I'm not sure," Kagome says. "Maybe. Well. There's nothing wrong with that. Many young couples cohabit before marriage these days."

"Why so shocked, Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha asks. "You fuck all those actresses and celebrities anyway. It's not like you don't practise cohabitation yourself."

"She's a girl," Sesshomaru says.

"And what are those ladies you fuck? They're girls too."

Sesshomaru stands; the atmosphere in the room is too oppressive. "Fuck you, Inuyasha."

"Yeah, well, fuck you too, you jealous idiot."

"What did you say?" Sesshomaru asks. He glares at his brother.

"We all know you like Rin," Inuyasha says. He crosses his arms. "Your pride and your obsession with social standing got in the way. Don't try to deny it."

"That is untrue."

"You can lie to us," Kagome says, "but don't lie to yourself."

"I am not lying to anyone," Sesshomaru says, though now his palms are cold and his breath comes quick.

"Whatever," Inuyasha says. "Whatever floats your boat, brother. I'm not the one who's jealous and unable to have a proper relationship."

"Enough," Sesshomaru says, and stalks from the room, the truth ringing in his ears.

:::

He is thirty-one, walking across the Higurashi driveway and she is twenty-three, standing on the porch.

"Rin," he says.

She turns, slim and glowing like a flower, dressed in a simple sundress. She has never looked so pretty, he thinks.

"Rin," he says again. "You're back."

"Sesshomaru," Rin says.

"How have you been?" he asks, yearning to reach out and pull her into his arms.

"Good. You?"

"The same," he says.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Rin says.

Sesshomaru raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Rin says. She is not smiling. "I heard you broke up with Kagura."

"We broke up a few months after you left."

"I see."

"Will you –"

"I hoped that you would come to send me off," Rin says, sadness in her eyes. "But you didn't. So I moved on."

"Rin, I –"

The door opens behind Rin, and a young man steps out.

"This is Kohaku," Rin says. "My boyfriend. Kohaku, this is Sesshomaru, Inuyasha's brother."

"Nice to meet you," Kohaku says, a genuine smile on his face as he slips an arm around Rin's waist.

Sesshomaru frowns. The serpent rises in him, and he feels the urge to strike out at Kohaku, to punch him, to show Rin that he is worth more than Kohaku.

"If that's all you came to say," Rin says, "then I'll be going in. Goodbye."

Sesshomaru can only watch as Rin walks away into the house, closing the door firmly behind her.

:::

She is twenty-four and a budding curator and he is thirty-two and a workaholic.

"They've broken up, you know," Kagome says at breakfast.

Sesshomaru lifts his eyes, scarcely daring to believe her words. "Who?"

"Rin and Kohaku, of course."

Sesshomaru looks back down at his plate.

"This is your chance," Kagome says. "She'll be at that art gallery party tonight."

"How do you know?" Sesshomaru asks.

"I have my ways, brother."

So Sesshomaru heads to the art gallery party that night. Rin is there, resplendent in sequins, holding a glass of champagne and talking to an old, bearded man.

Sesshomaru walks over and puts his arm around Rin's shoulders. "Rin," he says. "Professor."

"Ah, Sesshomaru," the old man says. "Am I interrupting your time with your lovely date?"

Rin pushes Sesshomaru's arm away. "He's not my –"

"Your presence is most welcome, Professor," Sesshomaru says. "It's always a pleasure to meet you."

"Well, well. I shan't disturb the two of you," the man says. He winks. "Have a good time, you young folks."

"What are you doing?" Rin asks, stepping away.

"I came to speak to you."

"About?"

"Us."

"There is no us, Sesshomaru."

"We can start again."

"Again? We never started in the first place," Rin says. She takes another step back. "You never wanted me enough."

"I've always wanted you," he says, and closes the distance between them. "I love you, Rin."

Rin shivers against his chest. She is so small, so fragile; he can feel her heartbeat escalating, and wonders if she can feel his.

"This is the last time I'm asking you this," Rin says. "I don't want to wait any longer. Do you really care?"

"I love you," he repeats. He steps back, releases her from his embrace and looks her in the eye. "I love you."

"Is that the truth?"

"The absolute truth," Sesshomaru says. He leads her to an alcove. "I am sorry for making you wait this long. We have a lot of catching up to do."

:::

She is twenty-five and blushing and he is thirty-three and at the altar.

"They've waited so long for this," Kagome whispers to Inuyasha.

"Yeah, at least he made up for it by proposing quickly," Inuyasha says. They fall silent as Rin walks down the aisle and into Sesshomaru's arms.

Now, she is twenty-five and a wife, and he is thirty-three and a husband, and their waiting game is finally over.

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A/N: This fic was inspired by The Last Time from Taylor Swift's Red album – it's a poignant song. Well. Thanks for reading this – I hope you enjoyed it!


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